My soul cries out with a joyful shout
that the God of my heart is great,
And my spirit sings of the wondrous things
that you bring to the ones who wait.
You fixed your sight on your servant’s plight,
and my weakness you did not spurn,
So from east to west shall my name be blest.
Could the world be about to turn?
My heart shall sing of the day you bring.
Let the fires of your justice burn.
Wipe away all tears, for the dawn draws near,
and the world is about to turn!
That is from “Canticle of the Turning” by Rory Cooney.
It is one of the pieces of music done by the choir at our annual church convention. I love the music and the words!
It was inspired by an Irish melody and Mary’s Magnificat.
I do feel that my world is about to turn. I am changing from being a minister who feels defective to becoming an autistic minister who feels empowered.
For the first time at a church convention, I didn’t feel that I had to hide in my room, so that — what I now know to be my autistic characteristics — wouldn’t show. Instead, I let the autistic me out — to sing and dance to music and whoop and holler while playing rounds of Uno.
I met privately with several other ministers, and let them know of my Asperger’s diagnosis. They were very supportive, and it was a relief to be known and accepted. I had a meeting with my peer ear minister who knows of the autism, and could process the experience of being so openly me at Convention, and coming out further.
I talked more with the prospective publishers of my manuscript, and realized I was actually able to talk about it without feeling embarrassed.
Usually, I leave the convention feeling exhausted. This time, I left with joy. I was tired, yes; but my heart was full.
The joining together of the “minister me” and the “autistic me” is a bit like me and God working together. It felt right.
The world is about to turn.